Regret.

What a regret.
gotten myself sick like fuck.
pushing myself to every inch i could move.

Helping jaynice to sell ice-cream
After that, pushing myself to meet qiqi.
end up too sick to go home and overnight there.

after all these i was slowly recovering.
end up dillon birthday was coming.
push myself alittle more to attend his birthday celebration.
Overnight lan, now my voice sounds like 30yr uncle.
hopefully get well soon.

ty hazel for your concern even thou you are in taiwan.
i will treat myself better from now on.

i gotta end here.
i am suffering very much.

what to do?

I hate myself.
too soft i guess, if i am this soft i might as well be ah gua?
My 2nd ex suddenly treat me very hot, i guess she wants to be with me again but there are some cons of her.
she likes to make use of people.
In what sense? Maybe make her bf pay for her all prepaid cards.
Every single time she have been asking me if i have $28 to help her pay for her prepaid.
I dont really mind helping a friend but in this case, i will not help.

Qiqi my 3rd ex.
we just broke off some time ago.
It was very painful for me to say goodbye to her.
But with the pressure behind her back, i can only say its time for me to leave.
Now that she is with someone else, but she is not happy at all.
She still hasnt get over me.
And i still have not got over her.
We both try to accept new love to forget the old one but it isnt working very well i guess.
Dam it how i wish my heart was as strong as a steel this way i wont fall so easily cuz of her expressing her feelings.



So many people having birthday on 26th dec?
Sandra 26th
Dillon 26th
Qiqi's Granny 26th.

Fcuking Feelings

How i wish i am emotionless.
i wont even get uptight if it was just a mere breakup.

things i asked u to do, u didnt?
but now becuz of that guy, he asked you to do and you did it.
you broke me from head to toe.

now i learn that a broken glass even when glued back together. there will still be cracks.
not long later, it will shattered to even more pieces.
no matter how much u glue it back, it will still break and everytimes it breaks it will become more fragile.

fuck man. i feel so screwed up.
what i predicted really happened.
i hate myself.
i feel like dying. but its not worth dying for just her.
things she did hurt me indeed.
i feel like dying not becuz she is not around but from the pain she gave me.

guess i have to stand back on my feet and build up my pace in living.
i wish you last long with him.

he owe me one.
watch your back when you are on the streets.

just these few months how many dam streets i walked. i cant even count myself.
things you said to him, you never said to me.

Wasted myself skipping and quitting school just to accompany you.
Wasted my soul putting effort to keep you.
Wasted my life getting hurt in the end.

How many times you said sorry.
But it wont even help.
if sorry was so powerful then everyone can just say sorry.

Maybe i am not that important to you in the 1st place thats why you choose to break my heart over his.

Nevermind, whats done cannot be undone anymore.
Just because you dont want him to be angry, have you ever think about my feelings?
It all doesnt matter now anyway.

I just have to move on without you.
I believe i can do better without you in my life.
All the pain and hurt you gave me made up feathers that can make me soar higher.

Maybe just because i am only 17, i dont know what you are thinking of.
The past are not things i will dwell on, they are things that are pushing me forward.
Hope you will last long with him.
Obstacles blocking you and him will be gone if you have the heart to remove them.



Anyways, this 30th is my birthday turning 17th officially :)
I plan on going prawning since chalet is costly and tiring.
Those plan on coming sms me :)
It will be midnight till morning.
Bishan area.