Alive again

sian dont think will be able to blog anymore.
11more days before i enlist hais...
These few days need to buy my army stuffs....
wonder will i die inside anot.

anyway Bugis got this super nice mini sponge cake.
the way they make the sponge cake like takoyaki sia...
3.50 for 10pcs with topping (:
i like the greentea/white choco and strawberry topping dam nice (:
Worth trying.
at night they will have less supply liao.
so afternoon need to faster go chiong lol.

they have cinammon , chocolate, white chocolate, strawberry , cheese, greentear.
colourful right (:
even kids want to cut queue and buy lol

got to buy a watch today....
budget one thou ):

Regret.

What a regret.
gotten myself sick like fuck.
pushing myself to every inch i could move.

Helping jaynice to sell ice-cream
After that, pushing myself to meet qiqi.
end up too sick to go home and overnight there.

after all these i was slowly recovering.
end up dillon birthday was coming.
push myself alittle more to attend his birthday celebration.
Overnight lan, now my voice sounds like 30yr uncle.
hopefully get well soon.

ty hazel for your concern even thou you are in taiwan.
i will treat myself better from now on.

i gotta end here.
i am suffering very much.

what to do?

I hate myself.
too soft i guess, if i am this soft i might as well be ah gua?
My 2nd ex suddenly treat me very hot, i guess she wants to be with me again but there are some cons of her.
she likes to make use of people.
In what sense? Maybe make her bf pay for her all prepaid cards.
Every single time she have been asking me if i have $28 to help her pay for her prepaid.
I dont really mind helping a friend but in this case, i will not help.

Qiqi my 3rd ex.
we just broke off some time ago.
It was very painful for me to say goodbye to her.
But with the pressure behind her back, i can only say its time for me to leave.
Now that she is with someone else, but she is not happy at all.
She still hasnt get over me.
And i still have not got over her.
We both try to accept new love to forget the old one but it isnt working very well i guess.
Dam it how i wish my heart was as strong as a steel this way i wont fall so easily cuz of her expressing her feelings.



So many people having birthday on 26th dec?
Sandra 26th
Dillon 26th
Qiqi's Granny 26th.

Fcuking Feelings

How i wish i am emotionless.
i wont even get uptight if it was just a mere breakup.

things i asked u to do, u didnt?
but now becuz of that guy, he asked you to do and you did it.
you broke me from head to toe.

now i learn that a broken glass even when glued back together. there will still be cracks.
not long later, it will shattered to even more pieces.
no matter how much u glue it back, it will still break and everytimes it breaks it will become more fragile.

fuck man. i feel so screwed up.
what i predicted really happened.
i hate myself.
i feel like dying. but its not worth dying for just her.
things she did hurt me indeed.
i feel like dying not becuz she is not around but from the pain she gave me.

guess i have to stand back on my feet and build up my pace in living.
i wish you last long with him.

he owe me one.
watch your back when you are on the streets.

just these few months how many dam streets i walked. i cant even count myself.
things you said to him, you never said to me.

Wasted myself skipping and quitting school just to accompany you.
Wasted my soul putting effort to keep you.
Wasted my life getting hurt in the end.

How many times you said sorry.
But it wont even help.
if sorry was so powerful then everyone can just say sorry.

Maybe i am not that important to you in the 1st place thats why you choose to break my heart over his.

Nevermind, whats done cannot be undone anymore.
Just because you dont want him to be angry, have you ever think about my feelings?
It all doesnt matter now anyway.

I just have to move on without you.
I believe i can do better without you in my life.
All the pain and hurt you gave me made up feathers that can make me soar higher.

Maybe just because i am only 17, i dont know what you are thinking of.
The past are not things i will dwell on, they are things that are pushing me forward.
Hope you will last long with him.
Obstacles blocking you and him will be gone if you have the heart to remove them.



Anyways, this 30th is my birthday turning 17th officially :)
I plan on going prawning since chalet is costly and tiring.
Those plan on coming sms me :)
It will be midnight till morning.
Bishan area.

Been waiting for that someone's answer for such a long time
this solo act is so lonely
Standing near the window only to see wind passes by
Loving you so deep yet how deep it is, i don't know

After you left me, my heart became fragile.
My heart feel the pain just thinking of you
But i kept it to myself
The seat and pillow beside me has been emptied for a long time
Waiting only for you, its because i finally understood.
Without your love, i am only left with half.
Not crying and laughing anymore, for whom i do keep moving on
No one can take your place in the other half of my heart.
I stubbornly waited on for the wind to blow you back by my side

Only your smile can give me assurance
Only your embrace can fill me up
Only the answer in your heart can open me up.


Maybe we can be together again if we were born in better families.
All the maybe and if, when will they happen
In the afterlife?

Now i can only watch from the shadow.
The light have been taken.

I love you as much as you love me
but hope you understand my decision, sorry for rejecting every single thing you asked.
Hope you move on in life like a arrow key.

This life we cant be together,
then lets wish for the next life we can be together.

One hell of chalet life

finally left the hell chalet yesterday,
it is more like a mosquitoes nest.
i got tons of mosquitoes bites, aaron got the most haha.
its almost like he kena poison.

we had 2 days of bbq but abit sian haha,
the birthday cake was superb,
all the guest like it.
only one that doesnt like it is pinquan.
i like the crust that was made of hazelnut.

the birthday girl relatives went to buy nasi lemak and dim sum for the guest.
made me very frustrated cuz we already started bbqing.
in the end kok kiang finish them haha, our big rubbish bin.

what is more memorable is the last day,
when leaving her aunt came and drive us but then she act smart, drive down the slope.
and the car got stuck.......

hope to have a better chalet next time, with u if possible.