isolated-Alone

Alive again

2010-07-20T22:07:00.000-07:00

sian dont think will be able to blog anymore.
11more days before i enlist hais...
These few days need to buy my army stuffs....
wonder will i die inside anot.

anyway Bugis got this super nice mini sponge cake.
the way they make the sponge cake like takoyaki sia...
3.50 for 10pcs with topping (:
i like the greentea/white choco and strawberry topping dam nice (:
Worth trying.
at night they will have less supply liao.
so afternoon need to faster go chiong lol.

they have cinammon , chocolate, white chocolate, strawberry , cheese, greentear.
colourful right (:
even kids want to cut queue and buy lol

got to buy a watch today....
budget one thou ):

Regret.

2009-12-27T10:09:00.001-08:00

What a regret.
gotten myself sick like fuck.
pushing myself to every inch i could move.

Helping jaynice to sell ice-cream
After that, pushing myself to meet qiqi.
end up too sick to go home and overnight there.

after all these i was slowly recovering.
end up dillon birthday was coming.
push myself alittle more to attend his birthday celebration.
Overnight lan, now my voice sounds like 30yr uncle.
hopefully get well soon.

ty hazel for your concern even thou you are in taiwan.
i will treat myself better from now on.

i gotta end here.
i am suffering very much.

what to do?

2009-12-22T10:22:00.000-08:00

I hate myself.
too soft i guess, if i am this soft i might as well be ah gua?
My 2nd ex suddenly treat me very hot, i guess she wants to be with me again but there are some cons of her.
she likes to make use of people.
In what sense? Maybe make her bf pay for her all prepaid cards.
Every single time she have been asking me if i have $28 to help her pay for her prepaid.
I dont really mind helping a friend but in this case, i will not help.

Qiqi my 3rd ex.
we just broke off some time ago.
It was very painful for me to say goodbye to her.
But with the pressure behind her back, i can only say its time for me to leave.
Now that she is with someone else, but she is not happy at all.
She still hasnt get over me.
And i still have not got over her.
We both try to accept new love to forget the old one but it isnt working very well i guess.
Dam it how i wish my heart was as strong as a steel this way i wont fall so easily cuz of her expressing her feelings.

So many people having birthday on 26th dec?
Sandra 26th
Dillon 26th
Qiqi's Granny 26th.

Fcuking Feelings

2009-12-18T06:28:00.001-08:00

How i wish i am emotionless.
i wont even get uptight if it was just a mere breakup.

things i asked u to do, u didnt?
but now becuz of that guy, he asked you to do and you did it.
you broke me from head to toe.

now i learn that a broken glass even when glued back together. there will still be cracks.
not long later, it will shattered to even more pieces.
no matter how much u glue it back, it will still break and everytimes it breaks it will become more fragile.

fuck man. i feel so screwed up.
what i predicted really happened.
i hate myself.
i feel like dying. but its not worth dying for just her.
things she did hurt me indeed.
i feel like dying not becuz she is not around but from the pain she gave me.

guess i have to stand back on my feet and build up my pace in living.
i wish you last long with him.

he owe me one.
watch your back when you are on the streets.

just these few months how many dam streets i walked. i cant even count myself.
things you said to him, you never said to me.

Wasted myself skipping and quitting school just to accompany you.
Wasted my soul putting effort to keep you.
Wasted my life getting hurt in the end.

How many times you said sorry.
But it wont even help.
if sorry was so powerful then everyone can just say sorry.

2009-12-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

Maybe i am not that important to you in the 1st place thats why you choose to break my heart over his.

Nevermind, whats done cannot be undone anymore.
Just because you dont want him to be angry, have you ever think about my feelings?
It all doesnt matter now anyway.

I just have to move on without you.
I believe i can do better without you in my life.
All the pain and hurt you gave me made up feathers that can make me soar higher.

Maybe just because i am only 17, i dont know what you are thinking of.
The past are not things i will dwell on, they are things that are pushing me forward.
Hope you will last long with him.
Obstacles blocking you and him will be gone if you have the heart to remove them.

Anyways, this 30th is my birthday turning 17th officially :)
I plan on going prawning since chalet is costly and tiring.
Those plan on coming sms me :)
It will be midnight till morning.
Bishan area.

2009-11-28T11:14:00.000-08:00

Been waiting for that someone's answer for such a long time
this solo act is so lonely
Standing near the window only to see wind passes by
Loving you so deep yet how deep it is, i don't know

After you left me, my heart became fragile.
My heart feel the pain just thinking of you
But i kept it to myself
The seat and pillow beside me has been emptied for a long time
Waiting only for you, its because i finally understood.
Without your love, i am only left with half.
Not crying and laughing anymore, for whom i do keep moving on
No one can take your place in the other half of my heart.
I stubbornly waited on for the wind to blow you back by my side

Only your smile can give me assurance
Only your embrace can fill me up
Only the answer in your heart can open me up.

Maybe we can be together again if we were born in better families.
All the maybe and if, when will they happen
In the afterlife?

Now i can only watch from the shadow.
The light have been taken.

I love you as much as you love me
but hope you understand my decision, sorry for rejecting every single thing you asked.
Hope you move on in life like a arrow key.

This life we cant be together,
then lets wish for the next life we can be together.

One hell of chalet life

2009-11-19T21:31:00.000-08:00

finally left the hell chalet yesterday,
it is more like a mosquitoes nest.
i got tons of mosquitoes bites, aaron got the most haha.
its almost like he kena poison.

we had 2 days of bbq but abit sian haha,
the birthday cake was superb,
all the guest like it.
only one that doesnt like it is pinquan.
i like the crust that was made of hazelnut.

the birthday girl relatives went to buy nasi lemak and dim sum for the guest.
made me very frustrated cuz we already started bbqing.
in the end kok kiang finish them haha, our big rubbish bin.

what is more memorable is the last day,
when leaving her aunt came and drive us but then she act smart, drive down the slope.
and the car got stuck.......

hope to have a better chalet next time, with u if possible.

Hurted

2009-11-06T07:15:00.001-08:00

What the hell am i suppose to do?
Every single day you keep sms and i keep hearing your melody.
i know you have your own suitors, but can you atleast spare a thought for me?
Doing it so sneaky is as if i am forcing you to stay by my side, it hurts my pride.

If you really like that guy then just tell me,
i will leave quietly without u even noticing.
Dont deny, the more you deny, the more it isnt convincing.

Its not that i dont care about.
i care about you in my heart but with you obsessed with your phone.
How can i even open my mouth to tell my feelings to you.

You want break or patch its all up to you.
And i will go to chalet even it is 1hour of my time, since i already promised you.

Dad, I hate you

2009-11-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

Today my dad made my fish die again...
when will he stop making my fish die?
this isnt the 1st time.
everytime i keep always he will be the cause.

today is because he off my air pump for my fries.
and he put the bloody lobster inside my female community.
Lobster is carnivore leh!!!
There goes my hope of getting my own moscow spawn.
2died and 1die today.

3female died, ARGHHH
i will go crazy if there are anymore casualties

i miss 'you'
hope to meet you soon thurs or fri.
i wont give u anymore disappointments i use to give u

Dilema

2009-10-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

Dunno what to do now?
Let go Or Patch it back like patchwork.

Dont Lie to me anymore.
i want the answer from your heart not from pressure.

I hate to be in the middle.
Nowhere close yet nowhere near.

anyway.
i found this song from my friend's blog.
quite nice and funny but quite vuglar also.
you're to be reminded to lower the volume or pluck in earphones.
as it is very offensive if your parents pass by or hears it.

i just changed my ear stud to a earring yesterday.
part of the reason is becuz my ear stud was missing.
but this earring kinda exp but still got it thanks to some help from my ex.
she like it very much.
and i like it very much too, quite fun to meddle with if you're bored cuz got the 3rings that can turn.

Ending

2009-10-29T00:09:00.000-07:00

Its a pity thou.
It just ended right then and there.
Woke up in the morning
found the cursed the msg u left in my phone.

the outcome was clear and in reach.
however i didnt want to let go,
how selfish of me.
but now i come to accept it.
i only gave u disappointments
sorrows and tears.

Now that you have a chance to find someone who can give you happiness.
From the bottom of my heart i congrats you,
You betrayed me 4times
I cheated you 0times.
But the times i made you cry were more than 40times.

Now that we have broken up.
Your pain and sorrow no longer concern me.
Goodluck finding someone that can cherish you more.
One that give you less disappointments.

Our story started long enough and it will end today.
1year 5months 27days.
i cherished every moment with you before the 29th.

Truth about Zui Hou Zi Ci

2009-10-22T10:51:00.001-07:00

A chinese song titled “The Last Time” which has been circulating on Youtube became a hit after rumours that the writer had passed away.

According to the story, this touching song was written by a 17 year old girl. It is believed she is a Sporean or a Msian. She had a loving BF and both of them had planned to get marry when they graduate.

But one day, the girl discovered herself suffering from a rare skin disease, whereby her skin will become thinner and thinner until they are so fragile, any strong movement would cause her skin to tear open. This is a bit like the paper skin disease which I had posted before that happens on a baby.

And so, she started to write this love song for her BF, hoping to finish it before she died. When the song was completed, she insisted on singing it herself and record it for her BF, risking that her skin may tear any moment by the singing force.

Before she died, her last words to her BF was, “I can’t see the next sunrise anymore. But it’s ok. Because you have come with me so far. I love you.” And people had been saying that the girl is already passed away. There were even another version saying that she had committed suicide.

HOWEVER…………..

some time back, a girl by the name of Lovynn Kan was on the MRT when she heard people chatting about this song and how pitiful the girl was had passed away.

She wanted to walk over and tell them, the girl who wrote the song is not dead but alive! Because she is the writer. But she added that the story was not compose by her and don’t know how it started. She had actually written the song for a charity for the Tsunami victims back in 2004.

She had entered the Spore Idol before and this song had been played before on local radio station, but it never was really noticed until now. She is also the student of 2 well known local singer.

So the air is now cleared! The writer of this song is 22 year old Lovynn Kan who is still well and alive kicking!

And not as what the story was, composed and started by don’t know who.

Sad Song

2009-10-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

today dar just ask me to listen to a song.
quite sad... but i never tear :x

from what she say.
the writer of this song is dead cuz of a certain skin disease.
she got too much white blood cell and cause her skin to get thinner every passing day.
so when she sing this song, it is very painful for her. Cuz her throat skin/vessels will burst if she stretch too long.

from what dar said: she died after singing this song cuz her vessels bursted.
Yes, this is a disease similiar to high blood pressure when the blood burst from inside.

and her BF knows she like sunset/sunrise( i dunno which)
went to all over the world to capture sunset/sunrise photo for her.
But however the sad thing is her bf fell off a cliff and died while capturing a certain sun in a certain country.
Sad, do this for the love one yet god dont favor him.

From what i found out.
this girl is still alive.
Her name is Lovyn Kan
she is from a music school in singapore.
she compose this song 5years ago.
What hit her was when she saw the tsunami victims. So she sang this song to encourage herself and the victims.

About the BF i dunno so much.
However i think she still has the disease.

Sit back and enjoy the video.
Its not original.
It have been edited and role played.

this is the most viewed of this song version

Me: All the best regards.
Hold on till the end don't give up.
who knows 1-2years later someone invent a cure for this even thou it is a rare disease.
Even now they invented cell division method to help couples who cant have baby.

All the best in your life. FIGHT ON!

Oh Ya open the video in another tab with youtube cuz of my annoying myspace player sorry :(

The rain

2009-10-21T11:31:00.000-07:00

The rain that started falling collects the tears
i coldly collect them with this hand with mixed feelings.

Without seeing your smile i walk this lonely road
As a result turning my regret to my strength

But you know, it can change i remain like this till i throw away my hope
Always with you i wanted to see the same dream as you

The repeating downpours are soaking my memories into the soil
Even that fated meeting
The downpouring night is never gona to stop

The rain that started to fall is taking your tears in with the wind
Collected under your chin my sins is reflected in a drop of water

Is it okay with you? There is only one answer
This is the result born from sorrow Please don't ask me anymore

If I blame myself will my feelings become alittle more comforting
Listen,always I will be there for you

I'm walking lining up my hypocrisies even if we laugh together
The rain is washing everything away
The truth is that i was crying on the day you told me it was over
My false smile is melting

I keep doubting I keep worrying
Because without you what will there be left
I keep doubting I keep worrying
Until then what will be left will only be pieces of memories

The never ending memory Slowly I'm holding my breathing
I'm closing my eyes and exhale
I'm remembering the first meeting I'm strongly grasping your hand on the last
Wishing to tomorrow

The repeating drops of tears Makes me regret the last moment more and more
Even that hurtful parting of the day is never stop hurting
The downpouring night is never gona stop
The night is crying for another chance

1st step

2009-10-20T07:03:00.000-07:00

Today meet 'dar' at her school at around 5.45.
on the way there i sit the bus139 there.
the stupid bangala behind me got a stench sia.
not only making me uncomfortable, he speak in the phone the person deaf sia, i on full blast with earpiece still can hear his voice.

After that we went to meet aaron and company at the library.
These days they keep going to the library so very easy to find them lol.
We went to eat the duck rice near bugis street.
i would say only not bad cuz the duck's drumstick not very meaty yet cost $4 liao.
But alot people queue for it.
Next go there eat maybe i try other bah.

Sorry for telling you cannot eat this and that.
Don't know how many more days i will be calling you dar and going out with you.

Life

2009-10-19T11:26:00.001-07:00

Looks like it isnt over yet.
she still needs to think.
I cant be selfish and have her all by myself so whatever choice she make it means what i will choose.

I hope to be with her again.
But i dont know what will the outcome be.
Let fate decide it then.

nothing much to blog today.